Divorce can be challenging enough when both spouses cooperate and are amicable toward each other. But when one spouse acts controlling or abusive, the divorce process can become dangerous.
If your spouse is exhibiting controlling behaviors, your divorce attorney in San Mateo can help you understand your options for seeking a restraining order or other protective measures. It is also important to understand how coercive control may impact determinations involving custody, spousal support, and other matters in the case, including child custody and domestic violence rulings.
What Is Coercive Control?
California Family Code Section 6320 identifies coercive control as a pattern of behavior that purposefully or unreasonably interferes with a person’s free will and personal liberty, which can directly influence court decisions when awarding spousal support. The code also lists examples of this behavior:
- Isolating a person from their family, friends, or other sources of support
- Regulating, monitoring, or controlling the person’s behaviors, communications, or access to services can severely impair co-parenting relationships and influence judicial orders for legal or physical custody.
- Depriving the person of basic necessities
- Threatening or forcing the other person to engage in conduct that they have the right to abstain from
- Engaging in reproductive coercion, or control over the person’s reproductive autonomy
Your spouse may have exhibited a pattern of controlling behavior, but you may have never realized that their actions constitute coercive control. Practically, this form of abuse may look like:
- Monitoring your text messages or social media
- Belittling or gaslighting you
- Controlling how you dress
- Preventing you from spending time with others
- Taking control over any aspects of your life in which you would otherwise have freedom of choice
Under California Family Code Section 6320, if your spouse has exhibited any of the behaviors above, or other forms of coercive control not listed here, you may have grounds for a domestic violence restraining order (DVRO).
How Coercive Control Can Affect Divorce Cases
Coercive control from a spouse can put you in a dangerous situation. This behavior often involves depriving a person of basic necessities. Your spouse can seriously impact your mental, emotional, and physical health through these behaviors.
If you have filed for divorce from a controlling spouse, you have taken an important step toward protecting your safety and independence. Your spouse’s behavior may also be relevant to some aspects of your divorce case.
Restraining Orders
Coercive control constitutes grounds for a domestic violence restraining order (DVRO) in California. This is a civil order that protects you from abuse from a family member or intimate partner.
Your attorney may advise you to file for a DVRO even if you do not feel that your safety is currently at risk. This order may be important to your safety moving forward, especially if your spouse’s abusive behaviors continue or escalate during the divorce.
DVROs can order your spouse not to threaten, assault, follow, stalk, or otherwise abuse you. They can grant you exclusive care of the animals owned by either of you and order that your spouse be removed from the home. They can also prohibit the abuser from purchasing or possessing a firearm, among other protections.
In your divorce proceedings, a DVRO can impact decisions regarding spousal support and child custody.
Spousal Support
Spousal support often arises in divorce cases in which one spouse is a higher earner than the other. The higher-earning spouse may be ordered to make payments to the lower-earning spouse for a specified period.
But when a DVRO has been granted against one party in the divorce, their ability to seek spousal support may be restricted. If you generally earn more than your spouse, be sure to speak with your attorney about how your spouse’s coercive control may impact their right to spousal support.
Custody Disputes
Coercive control in a divorce case can also affect custody determinations. If you and your spouse disagree about the division of child custody, a judge may need to decide for you. Having a DVRO against your spouse or showing evidence of their coercive control may impact the judge’s determination.
California Family Code states that a finding of domestic violence in the previous five years creates a rebuttable presumption against custody. This means that a judge would start the case with a legal presumption that awarding custody to the abusive parent would be harmful to the children. The abusive parent would need to provide significant evidence to counter this presumption and may need to attend a parenting class or intervention program as well.
In some custody cases involving domestic violence, the judge may order supervised visitation for the abusive parent or require that child exchanges happen in a neutral and secure location.
Gathering Evidence of Coercive Control
If you want to seek a DVRO or bring up coercive control in your divorce case, having evidence of your spouse’s abusive behaviors can be helpful. Your attorney might help you look for the following types of evidence:
- Text messages, emails, or other digital communications showing your spouse’s threatening or belittling language
- Credit card records or other financial documents that show a pattern of financial control
- Evidence showing the installation of tracking devices or spyware that your spouse used to monitor your actions
- Testimony from others who witnessed your spouse’s abusive behavior
- Detailed logs with descriptions of your spouse’s behavior, including dates and times for specific actions
Steps To Take To Protect Yourself
Coercive control is a type of abuse and may lead to other abusive behaviors. Recognizing the signs of domestic violence and domestic abuse is important when dealing with an unpredictable or abusive spouse.
Seeking a DVRO against your spouse may be a good idea. Your attorney can walk you through this process, and the court may even order that your spouse pay your attorneys’ fees in connection with the DVRO. The process usually follows these steps:
- Complete a Request for Domestic Violence Restraining Order.
- Fill out the form and file it with the court clerk.
- Serve your spouse with the papers.
- Attend a court hearing.
Seek Legal Guidance From Viola Law Firm P.C.
If your spouse is showing signs of domestic abuse or coercive control in a divorce, you have options for protecting your safety and your case. Contact Viola Law Firm P.C. today at (650) 643-4212 for a legal consultation.
