2 things you should consider before dating during your divorce

It may seem strange to seek companionship in the midst of a serious breakup. In fact, it is rather common. A large proportion of people start dating while separated or during their legal divorce proceedings. 

Of course, dating often presents a unique set of challenges — and dating during divorce is an even thornier subject. If you are considering seeing someone socially or romantically during your divorce, consider these two factors first. 

  1. It should not hurt your case

California divorces do not require one party to be at fault. You could say you had irreconcilable differences with your spouse or that you had simply grown apart for an extended period of time, for example, rather than cite cruelty, adultery or some other extreme ground for the court to use. 

What that means, from the perspective of dating, is that you would probably not lose a legal advantage by seeing someone. However, this conclusion only considers divorce from a technical perspective. There is more to the process than legal procedure in nearly every real-world case. 

  1. It can hurt your negotiating power

One of the chief concerns about going out with other people would be the psychological and emotional reaction of your spouse. Remember that, during your divorce, you are still married. Depending on your spouse’s perspective, dating could be a signal that you do not care about courtesy, respect or being fair. This may cause them to fight harder and nastier. Negotiating with someone who is offended or distraught at your dating behavior could be considerably difficult. 

Essentially, resolving your divorce amicably can be easier if both of you refrain from dating. Each situation is different, however. Sometimes the support from a new romantic partner may be just what you need during this often difficult time.

Share On


Have more questions about divorce? Check out our Divorce Q&A.