Do emotional connections impact divorce agreements?

Losing your marriage, time with your children and your stuff is enough to make anyone emotional. Can proving your feelings stop a judge from severing these bonds?

Your child

The relationship you share with your child is one of many considerations a court or judge will take into account when determining how each parent supports their child’s best interests. Showcasing evidence that you have a positive and trusting relationship with your child can be advantageous in a custody battle.

However, the parental rights of the other parent won’t be removed just because he or she doesn’t have as meaningful of a relationship with the child as you. The court will likely favor whichever parent offers the child the most stability, so long as that parent does not have a history of abuse, violence or criminal activity.

Here are a few examples of other important considerations a court makes:

  • The parent’s financial stability
  • The parent’s proximity to the child’s educational opportunities and friends
  • Whether the parent can meet the child’s basic needs (food, water, shelter, hygiene)
  • The condition of the parent’s home environment
  • Physical and mental health of the parent
  • Child’s preference
  • Where the child’s siblings live

Your stuff

Many of us are more attached to our things than we think. And, since pets are considered property in the state of California, these “assets” tend to be especially important to us.

However, the courts are unlikely to factor these emotional attachments into property division decisions they make. You and your ex-spouse have the option to come to an agreement over how your assets will be divided in mediation or without the court’s involvement.

But, if you disagree on how marital assets should be split, the court will base their decisions off of what is most fair, according to the income you each make.

For pets, courts may consider factors, such as who has paid for the pet’s upkeep and who regularly cares for the pet’s basic needs.

Your future

Okay, so you don’t necessarily have an emotional bond to your future. But, if your marriage ended unexpectedly or because your spouse cheated, you probably had a different future in mind for yourself until recently.

Now, your retirement funds and other personal finances may be putting you in a scary place. Conveying these emotions in court isn’t likely to change the way your bank accounts are split. However, if your spouse’s adultery dipped into marital funds, you may be entitled to a larger portion of assets.

To make a case for alimony, it’s likely that only your income and job opportunity will be considered.

A better way to make negotiations

Pleading with the court to consider your emotions isn’t likely to get you very far. Instead, seek the help of an experienced attorney to gain proven negotiation strategies. A lawyer can help you reach the agreements that are in your best interests.

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Have more questions about divorce? Check out our Divorce Q&A.